It’s OK to Change: Why Our Brains Fight It and How to Lean In
Change is an inevitable part of life, woven into everything from human development and relationships to our shifting self-awareness. Professionally, I became a therapist to help others navigate change. Personally, however, I still struggle when it happens to me.
Before we dive into my own recent "season of change," let’s look at why it feels so difficult for all of us.
The Psychology of Change
Whenever a change is on the horizon, our nervous systems often go into a state of high alert. Protective parts of our psyche become hypervigilant, scanning for the worst-case scenario. This mechanism is wired into our DNA; it’s designed to keep us safe by favoring the "known" over the "unknown."
The problem is that our brains often view change as a safety threat—even when it’s a good change. This is the biological root of why people stay stuck in unhealthy habits, unfulfilling jobs, or toxic relationships. I see this with clients constantly: even when an environment is objectively "bad," taking that first step toward something new feels like jumping into the void.
A Tale of Two Studios: My Journey from HIIT to Pilates
To illustrate this, I want to share my experience transitioning from Orange Theory (OTF) to Reformed Pilates. Both experiences helped me grow, but letting go of the old to make room for the new was a process.
I was a die-hard Orange Theory member for a decade, starting in 2015. For years, it provided me with community, safety, and health. But by early 2025, something shifted. The excitement I used to feel was replaced by dread. The workouts began to feel harsh on my body, yet I kept pushing myself to go. I was "stuck" in a routine that no longer served me because it was familiar.
During my time there, I accomplished things I never thought possible—like completing the "Dri-Tri" multiple times. One year, I even PR’d a Strength Dri-Tri while unknowingly battling bronchitis, simply because I was too stubborn to perform worse than the year before! That community also held me up during the loss of my mother in 2024. The bonds were real, which made the idea of leaving even scarier.
The Turning Point
In March 2025, I intuitively felt drawn to try Reformed Pilates. I was shocked by how difficult it was, and soon I was balancing memberships at both studios. I noticed my body and mind responding positively to Pilates, while my dread for OTF grew.
I hesitated to cancel my original membership until a specific catalyst occurred: I witnessed management treat two dear friends unfairly, terminating their memberships without a conversation simply because they set appropriate boundaries.
As a business owner and a friend, my "Why" became clear. I could no longer support an organization that didn't value human dignity. Yet, even with that clarity, the moment I hit "cancel," my brain spiraled. I told myself I’d lose my health gains, that my friends would abandon me, and that I was making a huge mistake. I had to remind myself of my "Why." Once I reconnected with my values, the self-doubt disappeared.
What I’ve Learned in the Transition
Today, I’ve completed over 140 Pilates classes and haven't looked back. Here is what this transition taught me:
From Orange Theory, I learned:
Nothing is permanent: Every season has its purpose, but it also has an end.
The power of the "Push": Sometimes we need a coach to help us realize we are stronger than we think.
True community lasts: The friends I made didn't disappear when the gym membership did. We still support each other through life’s biggest challenges.
From Pilates, I’ve learned:
Honor where you are today: "If it’s in your practice today" is a mantra of acceptance. There is no judgment, only movement.
Small changes have big impacts: You don't always need heavy weights to build incredible strength.
It’s a personal journey: There is no competition. Everyone from teens to seniors (and the occasional service dog in crocs!) is focused on their own practice.
Final Takeaways for Your Own Journey
If you are currently contemplating a change, I hope you remember this:
Fear will lie to you. It will tell you that staying stuck is safer than moving forward.
You don’t need a "catastrophe" to justify a change. Sometimes, simply no longer feeling joy is reason enough.
Alignment brings satisfaction. The more you make decisions that align with your values, the more you’ll show up for yourself in ways that matter.
Listen to your "No." Once your body starts signaling dread or lack of motivation, it’s usually time to re-evaluate.
Change is hard, but staying stuck in a place you’ve outgrown is harder. Trust your gut because it usually knows the way before your head is ready to follow.